The exclusion. How not to be marginalized.
Every person sometimes feels rejection. We reject someone or someone rejects us. Almost always people reject each other violently. I mean resentment, withdrawal, closeness to other ends.
First of all, I want to refer to the official dictionary of psychological and give a precise definition of the word:
“Rejecting is a psychological syndrome, emerges in adolescence and manifests itself in a hostile setting in relation to society, deviant behavior, gross violations of communication, both with adults and peers. The basis for the formation of rejection is often the social disorientation. Interpersonal situation of development in exclusion is determined by the opposition of an adolescent to the society, covering all the main venues of life: family, school, academics, communication. Confrontation is an active and reciprocal in nature.
For psychological profile rejection is characterized by the perception of the unjust structure of the world and self-outcast, rejected by society. Exclusion is a pronounced psychopathising psychological syndrome that severely violates social adaptation of adolescents.” AL Wenger.
For people with cerebral palsy or people with disabilities, the problem of rejection is in the first place. The disabled people not only reject the society in which they live, but also one another and themselves. Many people with disabilities close themselves in their world, in which they admit no one. As the result, people remain single for life.
What’s going on inside these people? They permanently stay home and constantly think that they are not wanted. “I do not need anybody because I’m not like all normal people. I’m ugly, I’m stupid, I am uninteresting, and I am useful to no one.” As you see, these thoughts consume them from inside, because it is the self-pity that is turning into chronic rejection. Besides, the pity the people around feel towards the disabled, amplifies the effect. This can not go that way. Help is what can and should exist, but pity must not. Bearing a grudge towards other people is the next reason for rejection. “I am offended because I’m not or was not like everybody else. They look at me not the way I would like.” You can continue counting your disasters eternally. After any communication, people with disabilities begin to gnaw themselves from inside and torment the others with their grievances. And thus, they are lonely.
Rejection is your barometer of relations; it is not the way people refer to you, but the way you treat other people. You will not be rejected by others and be lonely if you learn how to be an interesting, intelligent and cheerful person, first and foremost for yourself. Read the book, watch a movie and tell about it to your friend, parents or people with whom you’d like to share this new knowledge. Do not pay attention to unwise or ill-bred people. And when casual people feel sorry for you, do not take the offense and do not retire into yourself. These people worth pity themselves. They do not know what they are doing. You’re wiser than they are.